Paper Clip Used to Hold Soviet Union Together Sold for Loaf of Bread

Government workers in Moscow today decided to part with the 69 year old paper clip that had once held the former states of the Soviet Union together. The clip had been in use since 1922 when the Soviet Union was officially formed, up until when the clip snapped after a contractor accidentally stepped on it, causing its collapse in 1991.

The decision was made outside the main Kremlin offices after employees couldn't get lunch because the inside McDonald's staff had disappeared after the cashier criticized the hostile political environment and censorship of articles and websites critical of the Russian Government. (NOTE: THIS ARTICLE IS NOT AVAILABLE IN RUSSIA)

"It was a tough choice", said Ivan Ivankov, a KGB agent investigating [REDACTED]. "It was something that had held our country together since the beginning. All throughout our history that paper clip loosely defined who we were and what we were. Without that 70 year old paper clip our country could have literally broken apart!"

According to the government workers, it was sold to a disheveled man wearing a disco outfit and claiming to be the reincarnation of Karl Marx. "He seemed nice to me", commented Nikolia Nikoliakov. The bread was also reported to be slightly stale according to Ivan.