Michigan Refuses to Allow Joe Biden on the Ballot For Wearing Ohio State Memorabilia
This morning, a bi-partisan movement of Michigan Republicans and Democrats voted to permanently suspend Joe Biden's name from the ballot...
Kanye West Crowns Himself Emperor for Life After Government Coup
At approximately 10:42am this morning, Emperor Kanye West along with a group of cheering fans stormed the capitol building, where Emperor...
Donald Trump's Popularity Tanks by 54% After Video Shows Him Double Dipping
A video from the February 2019 North Korea summit has been making rounds online recently after an overlooked portion of it appears to...
State of Florida Collapses Into Total Anarchy for 2nd Time This Week
With a record of 4 days since the last total collapse of government and public services, Florida has once again fallen into a state of...
NASA Confirms Earth is 12 Sided Dodecahedron
Today, NASA confirmed what has long been suspected about the shape of the planet. "We cannot hide this from the public any longer," NASA...
Apple Releases Ground-breaking New iPhone Without Touch Technology
Apple has finally come out with its new product it has been teasing about for the past 9 years. The iPhobe is for users who don't like to...
Disney Purchases Rights to Human Genome
Earlier today, Disney executives finalized the purchase of the complete genome of the human race. Though a 2014 Supreme Court decision...
China Wins "Most Surveillanced Population" Award for 10th Consecutive Year at Authoritaria
The award for having the most surveillanced population was given once again to China recently at the 10th annual Meat up and Eat up...
Paper Clip Used to Hold Soviet Union Together Sold for Loaf of Bread
Government workers in Moscow today decided to part with the 69 year old paper clip that had once held the former states of the Soviet...
Devastating Fire at Fire Extinguisher Factory Burns for 9 Hours
A malfunction in a prototype of a new fire extinguisher is what caused a 3 story building to burn to the ground in an industrial area of...
