Apple Releases Ground-breaking New iPhone Without Touch Technology

Apple has finally come out with its new product it has been teasing about for the past 9 years. The iPhobe is for users who don't like to dirty up their phone screens with burger and pizza grease. "We truly believe that the only way forward in touch technology is to take a large step backwards," said Apple's spokesperson, Brian Brain. "We wanted to make something for our users that introduces exciting and innovative technology, and that distinguishes us from competitors, and we feel this fits that task perfectly."

Picture of the iPhobe in use.

The iPhobe will be available in stores across the country starting Saturday with a price tag of $1,499. Of course with no touch technology there has to be some way to actually use the phone, so along side the release of the phone they also introduced a keyboard and mouse set and connecting wires. They also added back the headphone jacks, which they plan on removing in the next version of the iPhobe. "We expect the iPhobe 2 to be onsale within the next 2 weeks," Brain added.

Next, we interviewed some of the people waiting in the store lines to get their hands on the new iPhobe.

"I'll buy literally anything if it has an Apple logo on it," said Becky Jones while waiting in line to purchase an iCan, literally just a can with an Apple sticker on it. "One of these days Apple might make something that's actually good and I don't want to miss out on it," she added.