State of Florida Collapses Into Total Anarchy for 2nd Time This Week

With a record of 4 days since the last total collapse of government and public services, Florida has once again fallen into a state of absolute panic and anarchy. With flames shooting up from most of the buildings in Tallahassee, Ron DeSantis delivered a press release from an undisclosed location in the Honduras after Canada turned him away. "It might have only been 4 days, but those were the best 4 days this state has ever seen," said DeSantis.

DeSantis giving his press release

The ignition for this collapse is believed to have originated in a Miami sports bar, where a fight broke out after the Miami Dolphins lost their 46th game in a row, to the Detroit Lions. The fighting soon spread to surrounding sports bars and eventually the entire state was engulfed in the flames of anarchy. "Do not worry," said DeSantis. "Everything is under control," he added while not having anything under control. All bordering states and Cuba have barricaded roads and crossings to avoid any Florida Men from crossing over. "Its for their own good," said the governor of Georgia, Brian Kemp.

A road barricade outside of Havana, Cuba (just in case).

Florida's last total collapse of government was on Monday, where a stray sneeze plunged the state into madness.

DeSantis and his cabinet celebrating 2 days without a government collapse (circa Wednesday)